Chapter 3

EPOV

God she looked beautiful last night.  The sexy little minx had planned the whole thing.  I couldn't believe how lucky I was.  She chose to be with me tonight.  I have to admit when I came home and saw the apartment with all of candles and good china set out I felt a twinge of jealously.  She couldn't have surprised in a better way though.  She made me my favorite and I swear to god she's the only one who can make it that way. 

I had had such a long day at work and that was the perfect way to wind down.  Her cooking always seems to cheer me up and then the way she looked just sent me over the top.  God seeing her bent over the oven in that sexy dress made me hard instantly.  I couldn't even try to hide it.

Bella and I had formed this fucked up relationship.  I loved it and I certainly would never trade it for anything, but I would be the first to say it's far from normal.  I didn't even realize it until just recently.  We had become almost like a married couple.  I would come home from my interning work and she would cook dinner and after we ate we'd sit and cuddle until eventually things got hot and heavy and they moved to the bedroom.  I always made sure I didn't cross THE line though. 

THE line was something I had come up with back when we were in high school.  See Bella was virgin back then, and still apparently is which I just found out and it was a bit of a mind fuck, so I had created these rules in my head.  We had been each other’s firsts for a lot of things and one of those was oral sex.  So in my mind I justified taking advantage of my best friend by never going anywhere near her barrier.  I felt that if she ever wanted to give that away it would definitely still be intact.  I know I sound like a complete dick here but you have to understand sleeping next to a beautiful girl night after night becomes a bit wearing.  Either way she always seemed fine with the entire situation and I wasn’t about to say that I minded.  Also I made sure that whether we were both completely trashed or sober that we always talked about what was going to happen in some way before we did anything.  At first it was a huge discussion, but as time went on we got it down to “Do you wanna…” I know that makes me sound like even more of a pig but I did it for both of our well beings.  We never had to wake up in the morning wondering if last night ever went too far.  We never had to have that awkward conversation.  I tried to eliminate anything that could really wreck us.     

I wasn't entirely sure what the hell we were and I didn't want to lose Bella.  God we had been friends forever.  I mean that literally, basically since we both started existing we had been attached at the fucking hip.  I don't think I could go on if I lost her, which is why I was so uncomfortable with the whole situation that had developed.  I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around her because I didn't want to make that one wrong move and kill everything that we had built.

See Bella is a one of kind and anyone that wants to disagree with me on that is a fucking idiot. She’s got a body that won’t quit.  I mean soft sensual curves in just the right places.  Then you get past her body and you look at her face… This beautiful heart shaped soft face that can hold so much emotion.  That face has the cutest nose I’ve ever seen, under it rests the softest set lips I’ve ever kissed.  Which is why I keep coming back to them night after night.  But the crown jewels of Bella’s face are definitely her eyes.  They are these bottomless chocolate pools that are like portal to her soul.  And as hard as I try I still can never get a good read on her.  But that’s just the physical; Bella is extraordinary.  She’s beyond intelligent and does a damn fine job of keeping me on my toes daily.  She’s caring and sweet.  I would even venture to say that she’s perfect.  She can moody as hell, a sexy seductress, and just a caring friend.  Who knew a woman could be so different and yet all the same at once?  I’ve known the woman for nineteen years and I still have trouble deciphering her moods. 

I’ve learned though what upsets her.  I know that it hurts her when I bring a girl by the apartment.  And I can’t tell for sure if it’s jealousy, anger or just because she thinks the girl isn’t good enough for me. 

Jealousy was what I hoped.  I dreamed that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.  But I knew that was a pipe dream. 

Anger was certainly my best option.  She was angry with me disturbing her home, her pattern, and her life.  She didn’t need the inconvenience of me bringing trashy women by for a few hours of meaningless sex. Bella’s place at night was by my side and having those sorts of encounters certainly disturbed that part of our life.  I always had routine though.  I kicked the bitch out before she even came down from her coital high, changed the sheets and went to find Bella.  Bella always cuddled with me those nights but even though we were in same bed with our limbs wrapped around each other she was distant.  She began requesting that I take a shower.  I always did whatever she asked.  I just wanted her to near me. 

Disappointment I guess would be what you call the last option.  I felt that maybe she was just disappointed in me.  Maybe she thought that I could treat women better.  Maybe she wanted be treated better.  I was a huge disappointment. 

Bella had every right to feel what ever it was that she felt.  She had every right to be jealous because I wasn’t man enough to admit I wanted more with her.  I wasn’t brave enough to define whatever it was that we have.  She had every right to be angry.  I knew I pissed her off and yet the trail of women continued for the first few months.  I knew that she was distant afterwards.  And I was selfish, I wouldn’t just let her sleep alone, I pulled her from her bed and made her sleep next to me.  She had every right to be disappointed.  Hell, I was disappointed in myself.  I fucked our whole friendship, it was irrevocably changed and I knew that there was no going back but I still did it.  I kissed her all those nights because I wanted too.  I was selfish.  I had hunger and I knew that she was the only one that could satisfy me.

Go ahead call me a sick bastard.  I do every morning in the mirror.  I’ve warped Bella’s life to the point of no return.  She’s twenty-two and perfect yet she doesn’t date and spends her evenings cooking and cuddling with her best friend.  I wronged her on so many levels.  And now, she’s asked me to be the one to take her innocence.  And I said yes.  I’m unbelievable.  I’m such a fucking idiot. 

I accept the fact that I cannot turn back time and erase all of the horrible things that I have done.  But letting them continue without change would be wrong.  So mark my words, today I am changing.  Bella’s actual birthday is Monday.  I have exactly six days to come up something to prove to her what she means to me.  I’m not trying to make up for the past out of guilt or because it’s the right thing to do, no, I’m doing this because she deserves it.

I considered many options. The more realistic approach was that I would just lay everything out there for her and she could take it or leave it.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but I knew it had to be big and meaningful.  I would work on it though, I would make it perfect, and anything less wouldn’t be acceptable.      

This weekend promised to be crazy.  Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett were all meeting us New York for Bella’s birthday bash weekend.  I was lucky though, this year I had secretly agreed to be her date.  I was so stoked that I couldn’t wait until Friday night.  At least being her date ensured that I wouldn’t have to sit there through three days of torture watching Bella get hit on constantly. 

After Sunday though we would be back in New Hampshire.  I had already requested Monday and Tuesday off from work.  I wasn’t sure how much time I would need to recover from the weekend bash and I wanted to be completely stress free for Bella’s birthday.  After that, Saturday was the first of our three dates I had made her agree to for our arrangement.  I wanted this to be right for her.  I need it to be right.  And I was so fucking happy she had asked me.  I don’t know why, but I was glad that it wasn’t someone else.  I knew it was wrong but it was like I finally would get to claim her as mine.  And that was everything that I wanted.               

Last night I thanked her for asking me in the only way I knew how.  I took her back to my bedroom and slowly worshiped her body.  Like I said earlier she planned the whole evening with the help of my two sisters.  So she did what she does best, she cooked my favorite.  She made me her grandmother’s famous lasagna.  And it was famous.  The only one in her entire family that could replicate was Bella.  She was the only one that took the time to make the noodles and the sauce.  She poured her heart and soul in to that dish.  And I swear that not only is that dish fucking delicious, but also just eating it makes me feel closer to her.  And my sisters, well they did what they do best.  Alice and Rose got play Bella Barbie yesterday afternoon.  They did her hair and make up then dressed her up.  That reminds I owe them flowers.  And I fully intended on sending them. They had not only added some much needed pieces to Bella’s wardrobe but Rose had used her beautician skills and waxed Bella.  Good god!  That was like was like a religious experience in itself.  Bella’s area never offended me.  Honestly being able to just be there was an honor but seeing all of her was a whole new adventure. 

Last night was all about her and I broke my rules.  I broke the first one by kissing her with out mentioning anything first.  I just went in for the kill.  And the kiss was different too.  The kiss contained so many emotions that it sent them coursing through my body like a bolt of electricity.  I could tell from her eyes that she felt it too but she didn’t say anything.  I kept going still not waiting to discuss any of what was happening.  Rule two was broken when I let my fingers touch her.  Before I had only ever used my tongue and it was only on her clit.  I never had trouble getting her to come, but last night I couldn’t stop myself.  I had to feel her.  I plunged them in to her and immediately she came hard.  I kept going until her second one hit and then just when she thought I was done I pushed her back down into the pillows and began lapping at her luscious folds.  I brought her to her third the way I had always, but it wasn’t enough.  I let my tongue enter her.  And I found that spongy patch of flesh and I began to massage it.  She came hard for the fourth time, but I didn’t give her time to come down from it.  I wanted her to know that I was all she would ever need.  I wanted her to know that she was mine.  I kept going and eventually after seven more small waves the tsunami hit.  I prolonged it for as long as I could.  I got everything I could involved.  I used my fingers and my tongue working off of her grunts as encouragement.  She had stopped forming coherent words long ago.  Finally with my finger on her clit and my tongue massaging her G-spot she came hardest she’s ever come before.  Her entire body began to spasm as if she was having some sort of seizure.  It scared me because she completely blacked out.  If she weren’t breathing I would have thought she died from pleasure.       

*****

BPOV

I woke up wrapped in his embrace.  My limbs were sore and my nether regions were numb.  I smiled as my body still hummed from the pleasure of last night. 

“Mhmm” I hummed unconsciously. 

“That good?”  He murmured.  I flushed; embarrassed that he had heard me.

“Baby?”  He asked, kissing just under my ear and I squirmed. 

I counted to myself TWICE.  That was the second time n less than twenty-four hours that he didn’t attempt to discuss our situation before he started kissing me.

“Sweetheart, please talk to me.”  He continued a bit softer. 

I choked back, wondering what I should say.  I wanted to shout I LOVE YOU.  And inform him that last night was amazing. 

“Bella?”  He said, becoming concerned.

“Sorry, it was all just so good… I was trying to think of the right words to say…”  I said, softly. 

He turned me so I was facing him; I tried my damnedest to look anywhere but his eyes.  I knew if he saw my eyes he’d know this was a bad idea.  I was in love with him and last night made everything three hundred times harder.  He had crossed so many well-established boundaries and gave me a glimmer of hope that he might feel the same way.  I didn’t want him to know how hard this morning was because I was afraid he’d go back on his agreement. 

I stared at his lips and then I looked over his shoulder at the wall but never directly in his eyes.  Just feeling him so close to me was almost becoming too much.  I had to joke and lighten up the mood or I was going to be laying there next to my dream man crying. 

“Sorry I kind of passed out on you last night.”  I said, meaning it.

“Sorry I kind of made you pass out last night.”  He said, smirking.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight.”  I promised in a small voice.

“Bella, you don’t need to make anything up to me.  I was just as content making last night about you.” 

“I feel terrible that I checked out, leaving you with that situation.” 

“You didn’t leave me with any situation.  When I saw your face and how I can make your body react that is satisfaction enough for me.” 

“Yeah… okay.”  I said sarcastically.

“I serious Bella.  You’re beautiful when you react like that.” 

“Well you got me to react quite a few times.”  I said, with a little laugh. 

“I know it was incredible.”  He said, smirking.

“I must agree with you on that.” 

“What would you like for breakfast, lovely?”  He asked. 

“I’ll make us something, don’t worry.”  I said.

“No!  I want to make you breakfast.  Please?”  He whispered in my ear. 

“I don’t care, I guess I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”  I answered honestly.

“Okay.”  He said cheerfully and then attacked my lips. 

I should have known Edward would want some for breakfast.  He hadn’t actually gotten laid in over a year and I was more than sure that he was probably dying for the real thing right about now.

He deepened the kiss quickly as his hands began to roam my still naked body.  That was another first.  I had never woken up next to Edward still naked.  I usually put on one of his shirts and a pair of my boy shorts.  You know so we didn’t make intimate contact during the night on accident… or on purpose. 

Edward and I laid there making out like teenagers for forty-five minutes.  He just felt me up occasionally, never really progressing any further than that.  It was so nice.  I felt wanted, worshiped, and loved all at the same time.

After that we both scrambled to get ready in time.  I had class and Edward had to get to the hospital.  He showered and dressed while I made him scrambled eggs then I hopped in and got dressed for class.  I gathered my books and grabbed my keys, as I was about to run out the door.  There he was, leaning up against the door.  “What’s the matter?”  I asked.

“Nothing, I just needed to do this.”  He said, softly as he took my face in his hands and kissed me with an incredible amount of passion.  We stood there for a few moments as our mouths moved against each other and in my head I screamed three.  That’s right three times in the past twenty-four hours.  And two times weren’t even leading anywhere. 

We pulled back and he placed another chaste kiss on my lips.  “Oh…” Was all I could manage. 

“See you tonight… Dear.”  He said in a husky tone as he opened the door and disappeared down the hallway. 

What did that mean?  I was more confused than ever now.  I couldn’t tell if it was all just because of our little joke or if he really was in to this.  And did me asking him last night really change his mind?  Oh god!  I need a drink.

I rushed to class and spent the whole time thinking about him.  Time dwindled by and I was looking forward to tonight.  Left over lasagna and wine.  It would certainly be a good evening. 

My phone buzzed as I wandered through the campus on my way back to our apartment.  I took it out my pocket and quickly glanced at the display.  Edward.

Can’t wait to c u tonight. -E    

I swallowed thickly and wondered for a moment that maybe he sent the text to the wrong person. 

Will you be there when I get home? –E  The text popped u right after I finished reading the first.

I’ll be there –B  I replied the safest thing I could think of.  I hoped that this all meant what I wanted it to but I needed to be sure. 

Good I’ll be there early. –E

Well that was weird…

When I got home it was a little after two and I decided to clean the apartment.  I picked up our scattered clothes and unloaded the dishwasher.  After that was finished I set out the lasagna to get it to room temperature. 

I pulled out my books and did a little bit of homework as I waited for the clock to stop being evil.  Edward normally got home around six.  So what did he consider early?  Five?  Five thirty? 

The familiar jingle of keys and his cheery whistling came from the other side of the door and I got nervous.  Whoa!  Wait why was I nervous.  This wasn’t a date… We lived together.  And he never asked anything other than that I would be home when he got there.  Well that and… the Can’t wait to c u tonight one but I still don’t know if that was intended for me or not.  FUCK!  Why was I over thinking all of this?

“Honey I’m home.”  His velvety voice announced from the foyer just like yesterday. 

I murmured “In here” and drew my attention back to my schoolwork. 

“Hello lovely.”  He said from behind me.  I swiveled on the couch to see him.  He stood there in a blue button down and his grey slacks.  Yummmmm…. And in his right hand he held a bouquet of flowers.  GOD DAMN.  I guess that text wasn’t meant for me.  I was sad but I tried to ignore it and keep concentrated on the reading in front of me. 

“Hi.”  I said softly after my eyes were back on the textbook. 

“All I get is a Hi?”  He asked sounding a little offended.

“Sorry I just have a lot of homework.”  I answered honestly. 

“That’s alright, do you need any help?”  He asked coming around to the couch. 

“No I think I’ll manage.”  I said, trying not stare at the bouquet. 

“Oh okay.  Hey Bella baby?”  He asked, trying to pull my attention to him. 

“Yes.”  I answered looking up at him.

“These are for you.”  He said pulling my face to his and kissing me sweetly.  FOUR!!!!

“Thanks.”  I said, feeling much better.  “What for?”  I asked.

“Just because.”  He said, smirking.

“Oh… Okay.”  I said, sounding dumb.

"Want me to heat up the food?"  He asked.

"Sure."  I said, nodding. 

He went to work in the kitchen while sat there and stared at the bouquet.  I was still over thinking everything.  I just sat there and wondered what they meant and I knew I should have just shrugged them off as some sort of thank you for last night, but my mind wouldn't let me.  It insisted that those flowers meant something. 

I got up and finally fished out a vase and set up my new flowers on the reception table in the foyer.  I smiled at them and thought how about how perfect they looked there.

Edward would come home in the evening calling out "Honey I'm home."  Then would set his keys down on the table and there would be the flowers he gave me.  That's when he would meet me in the kitchen where I would be fixing his dinner.   Our perfect little faux marriage.  I laughed bitterly to myself as I thought about how fucked up our situation had become.  

"Bella... Foods hot."  He called out from the other room.  Tears assaulted my eyes and I took a moment to clean myself up before I went to meet him.  I didn't need to make anything any more awkward than it already was. 

"Be right there."  I said hoping my voice didn't betray me. 

We sat on the couch tonight.  There was no fancy dinner plates and linens.  It was just us.  We had our glasses of wine and relaxed as we delved in to our dinners.  He asked me about my day and I gave him a brisk overview.  Then I returned the question.  He told me about work and the traffic getting home.  I tried to ignore how perfect we were together.  I tried to push all of those thoughts aside and accept that he was just my best friend. 

I got up and took care of his plate when we finished.  He cleaned up the rest of the lasagna and we both met back on the couch.  It was like every other evening.  Dinner had turned in to cuddling and soon it would segway in to us going back to a bedroom.  He kissed me sweetly as he pulled me in to his side to cuddle.  It wasn't on the forehead like normal no, now it was smack dab on the lips and it felt good.  As my mind screamed five, I shut my eyes trying to pull my thoughts from it.  Knowing that we probably had just crossed a new fucked up line and this was now becoming part of the routine. 

I couldn't take in any longer.  I had to move from his nook, his smell was too much for me to take it.  I was falling deeper in to this stupid hole I had dug and I needed to try to backpedal.  "I-I I have homework I need to finish."  I said, stuttering.  It wasn't a lie I really did need to finish up some things so I grabbed my book and binder from the coffee table and headed in to my room where my laptop resided. 

"Oh okay...” He said, sounding down.

I closed the door behind me in an attempt to shut out the feelings that I had for him.  I didn't work so I locked the handle of my doorknob, cranked my music, buried my face in my pillows, and let myself sob.  I must have fallen asleep amongst the desperate crying because I woke to warm light flooding through my windows. 

I stretched and gasped at the thought that popped in to my mind.  Last night was the first night since we moved here that we slept apart.  I cringed at the thought wondering if Edward would be upset with me. 

I opened the door as quietly as I could, hoping to start a pot of coffee before he woke.  As I opened the door though, I almost stepped on him.  He was right there in front of my door curled in to a ball with a pillow and blanket on him.  I laughed lightly as tears came to my eyes. 

"Edward?"  I called softly, nudging him lightly with my foot. 

He woke with a start and jumped to his feet. 

"What were you doing?"  I asked when he finally realized there wasn't a fire or an emergency.

"You didn't come back out last night...” He said sleepily. 

"Sorry."  I replied lamely.

"I knocked and when you didn't answer I tried the knob and it was locked."  He said locked as if it were the worst thing I could have ever done. 

"I must have fallen asleep doing my homework."  I said ignoring the locked part.

"You felt the need to lock your door while you're doing your homework?"  He asked bluntly.

"Sorry.  I must have done it and not noticed."  I lied not wanting to get in to it this morning. 

I think he could tell I was lying.  I saw something flash in his eyes and then he just walked away from me.  I continued on my mission to make some coffee.  God knows I needed this morning; I slept like shit last night. 

He was showered and dressed before I had taken the second sip from my black liquid.  "In a hurry?"  I asked, hoping to get him to slow down. 

"Yeah... I guess I overslept since I didn't have my alarm."  He said staring in to my eyes. 

"I didn't make you sleep on the floor."  I said trying to defend myself.

"No you didn't."  He said matter-of-factly.  "But I can't sleep without you, Isabella."  He said using my full name and I choked on the burning fluid. 

"You should probably grow out of that Edward.  Eventually you're going to have to one day.  One day we won't be able too."  I said opening that can of worms.

"You're right.  Too bad you've spoiled me.  And judging from the color of your coffee you didn't sleep much better."  He retorted.  I cursed myself because he knew me so well. 

"I have to get ready for class."  I informed him, sounding a bit defeated.

"I'll see you tonight then."  I nodded as I disappeared through my door.

It killed me to be distant with him but maybe it was for the best.  How would we ever move from this rut?

*****

EPOV

I slept on the fucking floor!  Right in front of her door, all night.  She didn't know it, but I could hear her whimpers through the door.  They made me feel like complete and utter shit.  All I wanted to do was run in there and hold her.  To take the pain away, but she locked the door.  Obviously she was crying because of me.  I wondered what the hell I could have done.  What the fuck did I do to make her cry?  I wracked my mind as I laid on the cold wooden floor begging for sleep to take over.  It didn't come soon enough. 

Then this morning she told me that I should get used to sleeping without her.  I wanted to break down and cry right there when she let those words fall from her lips.  She was right though, if I didn't do something soon she was going to move on and find someone better.  She was going to find someone else to cuddle and share how their day went with.  The thought of that scared the shit out of me. 

It was then as I pulled from E. Wheelock St., where I shared an apartment with Bella, on to S. Park St. I realized that I was in love with her.  Not only had she changed my life in a way that I couldn't even vocalize but I was irrevocably in love with this woman.  And all it took for me to realize it was some tough love from her. 

I had already planned to let her know what she meant to me, but know I was going to proclaim my love to her.  I wasn't sure if I should tell her on her birthday.  I felt like that may be too much.  I even considered just letting us fall in to more of a couple like patterns without ever really having to talk about it.  I figured that eventually we would be common law married and that was almost good enough for me, but the thought of Bella in a wedding dress quickly changed my mind.  I had to get off my ass and tell her. 

I decided that maybe on the third date I would tell her.  And then hopefully she would allow me to postpone our activity until later on and we could actually date.  Not that it would be terribly different from what we were already doing. 

Work was mundane and it dragged on for what felt like ages.  I wanted to get home as quickly as I could because I needed to see her, I needed to fix whatever rift I had created between us.  I bought her flowers yesterday, but that wasn't enough.  I wanted her to know that I was interested.  I wanted her to feel what I felt for her.  I stopped at the store before heading home, remembering that Wednesdays were her late night for classes. 

I was going to cook for her, then cuddle with her, then I was going to seduce her just like she done for me.  I needed her to feel how much I wanted her. 

I grabbed the ingredients for the only thing I really knew I could cook well.  Bella's favorite, mushroom ravioli.  Her grandmother had taken the time to really teach me how to make it.  I never really understood why, but she said one day I would need to know it and now I got it.  Even back then at the ripe old age of nine she could see that I was madly in love with her granddaughter.

BPOV

I had every intention of not coming home after class, but that's the problem when you move have a country away from everyone you know and don't take the time to really meet anyone new.  I had surrounded myself with Edward so I had no option but to go home. 

I traipsed up the stairs and to out door.  I could hear the ruckus he was making in there from the hallway and I wondered if I should just turn around, but I sucked it up and silently promised myself no tears today.  I needed to just let everything be normal.  At least until my birthday weekend.  After that, then we could bring everything out in to the light.

I stepped in, roughly shoving my things in the hall closet as I stripped off my shoes.  I just wanted to change in to something comfortable and curl up on the couch with him.  I wandered slowly down the hallway, then I smelt it. 

He was standing in his work clothes, pressed up against the stove.  I looked around the room taking in to account the entirety of the disaster that he had created.  "What have you done to my kitchen?"  I asked in mock horror. 

"Welcome home, love."  He said, as he pulled me in to a hug.  Wait rewind!  Did he just call me love, not lovely?  Oh dear my knees just went weak.  Maybe I was imagining it...

"Thanks."  I replied lamely, snuggling in to him further. 

"I made dinner."  He whispered in to my hair.

"I can see that."  I murmured, trying to stifle a chuckle. 

"It's your favorite."  He continued. 

"Oh?"  I questioned, trying to think of what he could have possibly made me.  My favorite was my grandmother's ravioli.  But he would never be able to make that. 

"Grandma Swan's Mush-" He almost finished saying it before I cut him off.

"No way!"  I shouted, not believing him. 

"Yes way, love."  He reassured.  There he went with that love shit again.  I knew I wasn't imagining it, this time.  I think he was trying to give me a complex.  He was going to wait until I was absolutely sure that I thought he felt the same and then jump out and yell just kidding. 

"But how...?"  I asked wondering when he would have taken the time to learn her recipe.

"She took me aside when I was nine and explained in a nice way that some day I was going to need to know how to make this." 

"Huh...” I said sounding utterly surprised.

"So I thought today was a good day to make it for you."

"Why?"  I asked.

"Because I need to power of the mushroom gods to figure out what the hell is going on with you." 

"Sorry."  I said lamely.

"Bella, just talk to me."  He urged.

"I just had an off day yesterday, I swear I'm good now.  Please can we just enjoy dinner and the evening together?"  I practically begged.  After this weekend I repeated to myself.  After this weekend I would sit him down and I guess try to have a heart to heart with him.  I gulped audibly thinking about all of the possible reactions.       

"Sure, sure."  He said.  Those were the words he would always use to play down something when it was really bothering him.  My heart broke right there and then but I had to ignore it.  We were both taking a long weekend and I wanted it to be nothing but fun.  I just had to get through today and tomorrow and then we were planning to leave earlier Friday morning.   It was almost a five hour drive from here to Alice's apartment so Edward insisted that we get started early so we can still go out Friday night.

"Thanks."  I said in a small voice. 

The evening went fairly smoothly after that, but I could tell he was being distant.  Even when we went to bed, he didn't hold me.  The entire night I tried to get him to but even his unconscious body wouldn't betray him.  Thursday followed the same, except I cooked for him.  Again another lonely night of non cuddling, you never realize how much you miss something until it's gone.   

Friday morning I woke up in his bed and even though we slept there together I was still cold and lonely.  He stayed tight to his side of the bed.  I determined it was time for drastic measures.  I couldn't have him acting all cold and distant the entire trip.  I slipped out of bed and pulled out a nightie that I had bought last year to seduce him with.  It worked to an extent.  I slipped it on and sprayed on some of his favorite body spray.  He always told me I smelled delicious when I wore my freesia one.  Then I quickly brushed my teeth and slipped back in to bed with him. 

He hadn't moved an inch, still lying stoically on his back.  I rolled over to him and rested my head on his warm chest.  When he wouldn't move his arms to put them around me I went in for the kill.  It was necessary.  I rolled on top of him trying not to jostle him while I got in to the straddling position.  We hadn't done anything together since Monday night and I needed to feel our connection again. 

I knew how he was in the mornings and I knew that even he couldn't control that.  I lowered my self down and hissed on contact.  He felt so good against me.  I had forgone panties knowing that the tougher I make this on him the better it will be in my favor.  I rubbed my already wet slit against him.  His boxer could no longer contain him and he was out in the open.  I had to be careful not let anything slip too far.  There was no penetrating intimate contact but even just sliding him horizontally through my sopping heat was enough to make me shudder. 

He hands came up automatically and grabbed my hips as he tried to sleepily guide me.  I knew he wasn't fully awake, there was no way he would have allowed this if he was.  I felt the pressure building in my stomach and I needed for him to be fully awake before I came.  I leaned down and kissed him hard.  I watched his eyes bug out as he came too.

"Bella!"  He shouted.  "What are you doing?"  He asked, sounding unsure if he should still his arms. 

"Don't worry you're not in..."  I whispered in to his ear. 

"God BELLA!"  He said sliding me off of him.

"What?"  I asked angrily, before the tears started to roll down my face. 

"I don't know what... I'm the one who woke up with the beautiful girl rubbing up against me." 

"I just wanted to remind you... that I was still here."  I said feeling dumb about the whole situation. 

"Like I could ever forget." 

"It seems like you have..." 

"Why would you say that?" 

"In the nineteen years that I have shared a bed with you, the only time you stay on your side is when you're really pissed at me and even then you usually end up cuddling with me once you fall asleep.  In the past two nights you haven't even touched me."

"So... What, you decided to casually rape me?" 

"UH!  EDWARD!" 

"Well what would you call it if you woke to me trying to thrust in to you?"

"Wonderful.  And it didn't seem like you were against the whole situation... Just sayin..."

"I thought I got three dates first?"  He asked with a sparkle in his eyes. 

"You weren't in... I swear.  I was really careful."

"Bella, you still have to use protection, if he... um... gets excited it’s just as dangerous as the end result." 

"I know that you dope!" 

"Well what were you using?" 

"I'm on that seasonel stuff."

"Oh!"  He said, sounding shocked. "How long have you been on that?"

"A little over a month.  I got it when I finally decided that I wanted it to be you."

"Oh... Why?  Why not just use a condom?" 

"We've never let anything come in between us before.  Why start now?"  In reality my reasoning was because I wanted to feel him, all of him.  I wanted to make love to him. 

"Good reason."  He said softly, and then turned on his side.  He gazed in to my eyes as if he were trying to figure me out.  Then he kissed me, passionately.  We stayed in bed kissing for quite a while, until we were both panting like whores in church.

“Bella…” He breathed.   

“Yeah.”  I panted. 

“Why don’t we grab a shower and then I think we need to hit the road.” 

And there you have some more Firsts loves!  Let me know what you think and how you think the weekend should go.  Next up is her birthday weekend with the gang in NYC. 

~Midnight