Chapter 10

 BPOV

Sunday morning breakfast had been anything but what I expected it to be.  We had spent the evening before together and I took advantage of the situation by squirming my nearly naked self closer to him.  He had wanted to talk the previous night, but this morning it was like something had changed.  He was cold and distant. 

We ate omelets and discussed the weather but there was no mention of what he had wanted to talk to me about.  Why did I have to fall asleep?  We could have had this all sorted out by now. 

It was a dreary morning and it didn't do much for my mood.  He dropped me off claiming he had some errands to run.  I came close to offering to go with him but his mood didn't reflect that he wanted company. 

Monday was just as awful.  Edward continued to ignore me.  Not directly but he was gone for work before I even got up and he didn't get home until well after I went to bed.  I wasn't asleep of course.  I could hear his familiar heavy steps as he moved around the apartment.  I could hear him muttering something under his breath too.  It was loud and I wondered if he was talking to someone else.  I didn't dare go out there though.  I was afraid I would find him with someone and it would break my heart. 

Tuesday was just about the same.  However that night when he came home he was clearly drunk.  I could hear his slurred words coming from beyond my door and I wondered what he was doing there... or what he was saying.  I decided to give him the same treatment he had been giving me though, I pretended I was asleep.

On Wednesday I rushed off to a meeting I had with a professor at the crack of dawn and spent the rest of the day in the library.  I had no desire to be home.  I knew he wasn't there.  He certainly wouldn't wait around for me.  I knew he had better things to do. 

I was slowly realizing just how big of a mistake all of this was.  He was avoiding me and now I was really alone.  There was absolutely nothing that I could do about it.  There was no going back.  Edward was my best friend, but now that we had made this fucking arrangement I had just thrown away twenty years of friendship. 

I came home a little passed midnight that night hoping to escape him.  He had been getting home just after that and I couldn't sit in the hard wooden library chair any longer.  I wandered in to our dark apartment and heard the muffled noise of his TV coming from his room so I crept quietly back in to mine.

EPOV   

I had spent most of the week drinking away everything that had happened.  Was I pissed about how the date went?  No not at all.  Was I really that pissed that I had woken up next to her the next morning?  Honestly, not really.  I mean I was upset with her of course but in reality it didn't seem like she was trying to be anything more than friendly and she had a point that it was her bed.  So was I taking valuable years off my liver you ask?  Well that's simple.  I had finally worked up the courage to have the talk with her and she fell asleep.  Was I upset with her?  Not at all.  She looked like an angel sleeping in the seat next to me and I may have stolen a snuggle or two from her while she was passed out cold.  

I was ultimately upset with myself.  I had every intention of talking to her on Sunday at breakfast but I was a coward.  I was afraid she'd tell me everything that I feared.  That I was just her friend.  Those words would have essentially killed me so I couldn't do it.  

To make matters worse I had been working late and going in early just to avoid our awkwardness.  We had been out on two of the best dates of my life and the third was quickly approaching.  I had already made all of the necessary arrangements for the night and now was confused if that night would even happen.  

As much as I wanted it.  I wanted more.  I was selfish and if I really was to get what I wanted it would be to have Bella as mine forever...

Whoa....

Yeah... but it was true.  I loved her and I had made a purchase almost a year ago that I hoped I would get to share with her soon.  If we could figure this whole thing out.  

Thursday came and went and thankfully Friday had arrived.  Friday was Bella and mine's unofficial date night.  We would end up on the couch watching a movie together and I was excited to just get to sit next to her.  I had mustered every ounce of courage I could find and I set my mind straight that I would tell her after dinner.    

I got home from work extremely early hoping to spoil her with a homemade meal like she had done to me all last week.  I found myself dancing around in the kitchen while I seared the chicken breasts.  I wanted everything to be perfect and just right.  I was making chicken Marsala.  I knew she would love it and besides it was a chance to have a glass of wine without feeling bad.  I had selected tonight's wine already and had chilling in the fridge. 

A couple years ago Bella and I had gone out to a little Italian restaurant and she had basically fallen in love with this stuff.  Needless to say I almost had to carry her out.  I had purchased three bottles for the evening hoping that we would both be able to loosen up a little. 

Bella had texted me earlier in the day letting me know she was going to be home late because she was studying at the library.  I planned for her normal 'late' time that she got home from studying which was usually just minutes after six.  When I got home. 

Six passed.  Seven was nearing and the food was now stone cold.  I got a glass of wine and waited for her on the couch.  I knew texting her while she was studying would be rude so I just decided to sit and wait...  Eight passed and nine was coming along.  I was starting to worry when I heard the sound of the lock click and a giggling girl. 

She was shushing something.  I waited for her to come down the hallway before I said anything to her.  The apartment still smelt of the cold Marsala that was sitting on the stove.  I heard heavy foot steps accompanying her light ones and I perked up.  Did Bella bring a guy home with her?

Then they walked in to view.  A lucid looking Bella was with a tall, tan man.  I was taken aback, but I really shouldn't have been surprised.  Bella was beautiful and she had every right to date, but something in my chest clenched when I saw them together. 

"Heyy..  Eddie-ward!"  She said, giggling. 

Oh fuck... she was drunk... and this guy thought he was going to get lucky!  Over my dead body!

"Hello Isabella."  I replied back, trying not to seethe. 

"Eddie whyyyyyyy do youuuuu sound upset?"  She asked, trying to be serious. 

"I'm not Bella, don't you think you should say goodnight to your friend?"  I asked.

"Ohhhh Yeah!!  Jake... It is Jake right?"  Then the fucker nodded.  "Jake this is my Eddie-ward.. but you can call him Edward!"  

Her Eddie-ward!  That's right, I'm pathetic and I would take anything I could get. 

"Hi."  He said outstretching his hand to me.  I ignored it.    

"Hi." 

"Eddie Jake suggested we should study in my room!  Isn't that a great idea?"  She asked.

"I bet he did!"  I said glaring at him.  "But it's getting late and you don't look like you're in any condition to study."

"Oh?"  She said looking dumbfounded.  "What do I smell?"  She asked. 

"Nothing..."  I said shrugging, but Bella was stubborn even when she was drunk and she maneuvered her way around the bar and looked in to the pot on the stove. 

"That was for us, wasn't it?"  She asked, pointing at the pan.

"It was..." 

"Oh Edward..."  She sighed wrapping her arms around me.  I reveled in it and stared right at the fucker who was now becoming my worst enemy. 

"It's okay babe I'll make it for you again, whenever you want."  I said leaning down to kiss her, but I stopped myself.  Instead I hugged her tight and then released her. 

"Bella can I speak to you for a minute."  She looked confused hearing the other man's voice. 

"Uhh.. Sure."  She said coming around the bar. 

"When you said you had a roommate I didn't realize he was a guy." 

"Oh... I didn't think that mattered since we were just going to study." 

The fucker chuckled.

"I thought you wanted a little more than studying..." 

"What did you think I wanted?"  She asked, raising her voice. 

"I don't know, Come on, let's talk, where's you room?"  He asked grabbing her wrist. 

"NO!"  She shrieked.  And that's where I felt it was necessary to step in.

"Get your god damn hands off of her if you want to live to see tomorrow."  I shouted, I was two seconds away from decking the asshole. 

"And what are you going to do about it?"  He had the nerve to ask.

That's when I hit him square in the jaw, my arm snapped back and I flung it at him again hitting him in the eye. 

"Edward stop."  Bella cried. 

"Why, I'm just showing him what he asked me too." 

I finally got off of the guy and he ran out of the apartment like the little pussy he was.  

I turned back to Bella after the door shut.  "What the fuck was that?"  I ask, seconds from having my anger explode.

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean why the hell did you bring that asshole back here?" 

"We were just going to study..."  She said, shaking now with an overload of emotions.  That meant she had tequila.  I bet the fucker didn't know that.  No he didn't know anything because I had been her best friend for the past twenty years and he just wanted to get in to her pants.

"Bella when did you start drinking tequila?"  I asked, almost glaring at her. 

"Around two."  She answered knowing better than to lie to me.

"Why?" 

"Because I didn't want to start at one?"  She gave me a smart assed answer

"Isabella Marie!  You may think this is funny, but I don't.  You could have been seriously hurt!" 

"I'm fine, you were here to save oh all mighty Edward."

"Bella I'm serious." 

She huffed. 

I was pissed so I said something I never thought I would.  "If you wanna go fuck an asshole, feel free to do as you wish, I for one won't stand in your way.  But God help me if you drag your sorry ass back here with that fucker again!  Our arrangement is obviously off."  I said, storming off in to my room locking the door behind me.

*****

I paced for a few hours... I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what I did to try to calm down before I went out to talk to her.  I felt like I was wearing a hole in the floor board.  Then finally I heard her calling my name softly from the other side of the door. 

"What?"  I snapped. 

And then I heard her sob and it killed me.  I flung the door open and cradled her in my arms. 

"Da-da-don't... You're mad at me..." 

"I am not mad at you Bella, I was concerned about your safety.  If you want him though I'll call him and apologize for my actions." 

"I don't want him..."  She whispered.  "I want you..."   She said clinging to me.

"Then why would you bring him by?" 

"He really was just a friend, but I guess in a weird way I was hoping to make you jealous... You haven't really been spending much time with me lately and I thought if you thought there was someone else you would want to spend time with me..."  She explained as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. 

"Well it worked."  I muttered.

"What worked?"

"I was jealous."  I admitted. 

"You were?"  She looked up at me confused.

I nodded, not really knowing what to say to her.

We sat in silence for a while; I cradled her in my arms wanting so much to tell her everything.  There was a desperate need inside me now that made itself known.  I had to tell her soon that I was in love with her… or else. 

An hour had passed and her sobs had stopped.  She had worked herself up quite a bit and was now in a tossing sleep in my arms.  I tried everything I could to make her rest more peaceful, but nothing helped.  I grimaced when I realized that my arms were probably not the most comfortable.  I stood and easily lifted her.  I brought her back down the hallway to her room and tried to deposit her in her bed.  But it was like even unconscious she knew that I was trying to separate myself from her. 

She clung tightly to my shirt and I wondered if she was still really asleep, then she whimpered when I finally loosened her grip enough to set her down.  She just kept whimpering.  It was the most heartbreaking sound.  I just couldn’t take it any longer and I had to make it stop.  I knew the only thing that would do it.  I scooped her back up in my arms and carried her delicately back to my room.  And once we reached it I heard her sigh.  I lowered her to the bed contemplating if I should just leave her there by herself.  But she made up my mind for me because when I reached the door she began making that noise that made me crumble.  My heart couldn’t take it.

So I did the only thing that I could.  I took off my jeans and t-shirt and hers too.  Then I pulled the covers back and slid her in.  I climbed in next to her and wrapped myself around her.  It was almost painful how close I was holding her but it was the only thing that would make the whimpering stop.

It took me hours to finally fall asleep that night.  Everything in my body hurt.  Bella had marked me worse than I ever thought possible.  The feelings that rushed though me when I saw her with that guy were so strong.  So powerful.  They were nothing I had ever felt before.

*****

BPOV

Morning came with a splitting headache.  The same ones I used to get when I would cry myself to sleep at night.  Except this one was mixed with a hangover.  Ugh... I felt gross.  My body felt achy and heavy.  Like someone was compressing me. 

I tried to roll out of bed but I couldn't budge. 

Holy shit!

I looked around the familiar room and there I was... in Edward's room.  In his bed no less.  I was curled in his strong arms.  Like they were a cage protecting me from everything terrible in the world. 

What the fuck had happened last night?

I tried squirming out of his grasp but his arms just got tighter.  My bladder was going to win this fight so I needed to get up soon.  I lightly shook him and he smiled but was still asleep.

"Edward..."  I called softly, trying not to irritate my head. 

"Mhggmgmmm"  Was his response

"Edward.... I need to get up."  I tried again.

"I'll go with you."  He said, still asleep.  He got up and started lifting me off of the bed. 

"Edward!  Put me down." 

He just shook his head and nuzzled my neck. 

Seriously!  What the fuck happened last night?

"Fine I need to go to bathroom.  Can you bring me there?"  I asked. 

He nodded and though his eyes looked like they were barely open he made the strides over to his bathroom.  He opened the door and just stood there with me in his arms still.

"Thank you.  Now can you put me down?"  I asked.

"Shower or toliet?"  He asked.

"Toilet."  I answered.

He set me down right in front of the porcelain facade and turned his back to me. 

"Thanks for all the privacy." 

He just nodded and stood there.

It wasn't as if I hadn't peed in front of him before so there I went.  I finished up flushing the toilet and washed my hands.  When I was completely done I was in his arms again.  We were headed back to the bed. 

He laid me down like I was a delicate flower.  And then collapsed next to me again wrapping himself around me. 

Alright... that's it!  I need to know now!  What happened last night!

"Edward?"  I asked, hoping he hadn't already fell asleep.

"Yes?"  He mumbled with his face his pillow. 

I rolled over to get him to look at me.

"Edward... Why am I here?"  I asked.

"Well Bella, I know your a virgin but you should know that.  But if you really want me to tell you... When a man and a woman really love each other--"

"Edward, I meant in your bed."  I explained further.

"Oh that..." 

"Yeah."

"How much of last night do you remember?"  He asked.

I gave him a sheepish look and shook my head.  "Not much." 

"That's what I was afraid of."  He grimaced.  

"Well for starters you came home plastered... with a guy."  He answered after a few minutes.

"I-I came home with a guy?"  I asked.  Shit Swan, how much did you drink yesterday. 

It had started out as an innocent study game with a couple of guys from class.  We'd ask each other questions that were going to be on the quiz and when we'd get an answer right we'd take a shot.  The liqueur of choice?  Tequila.  I was no light weight.  Please don't get me wrong.  But after seven shots... I mean come on.  This went on for five more questions and at that point I had consumed eleven shots.  I had missed one question.  Simply because I couldn't stop laughing.

Jake... that was one of their names... ugh... there was a Seth too I think?  Oh god.  

"You did..."  Edward mumbled again, still not looking at me.

"Jake?"  I asked.

He nodded his head. 

"Oh god..."  I breathed.

I wanted to run... I wanted to escape.  He didn't say anything.  And I just sat there and breathed.  Why?  Why now?  Today was the day right?

I knew exactly why I had done it.  I had been frustrated that he had said he wanted to talk to me and then never did.  On top of that he had been ignoring me all week.  Always gone when I got up and never home until I was already in bed.

"So got in a lot of extra hours this week huh?"  I asked.

He just shrugged.

"Before we start on my lack of judgment and sobriety can we start with your lack of appearance this week?"  I asked. 

"I'd rather not."  He mumbled.

"Well that's just too damn bad."  I said sitting up.

I poked him relentlessly until he finally turned to face me. 

"What?"  He croaked, still sounding sleepy.

"Sit up.  I want to talk and you and I aren't leaving this room until we do."  I said proudly.

"Fine..."  He grumbled adjusting his body into a half way sitting position. 

"So you first.  Where have you been all week?"

"Avoiding this conversation."  He answered, flinching at the end, as if I'd hit him.

"Doing what?"  I pressed.

"After I finished getting everything settled for our arrangement I got drunk..."  He said looking at the wall.

"Every night?"  I asked.

"Well I had everything taken care of on Monday for the arrangement, but yes every night after that I got drunk.  I mean bumbling drunk.  I'm surprised you didn't hear me..." 

"Oh I did.  I just figured if you were trying so hard to avoid me you probably didn't want to see me."  I answered.

"Wonderful..."  He muttered.

"Why were you avoiding this conversation?" 

"Not fair you just asked me a question.   Isn't it your turn to explain something?"  He whined.

"Fine what would like explained."

"The drinking and the guy..."

"The drinking was a studying game.  It was a few guys and myself were sitting in their dorm and we were studying.  And then one of them suggested taking a shot when we would get an answer right.  Apparently I know my english lit.  Eleven shots.  And the guy... well I'm not entirely sure.  I think I remember him.  It was Jake right?"  I asked, hoping that Edward had gotten a name out of him.

"Yeah, that was the fucker's name."  He answered, scowling. 

"So Jake and I hit it off.  We were chatting after we finished studying and I guess he just wanted to take me home."  I grimaced.

"I think his intentions dove a little deeper than taking you home."

"I wanted to make you jealous."  I blurted out.

"Yeah, you mentioned that last night." 

"I did?" 

He nodded.

"Oh..." 

"Come out in to the living room and I'll help you piece together last night.  Besides I have some dishes I need to clean up." 

Dishes?  My mind wandered.  I was trying to remember the night before but everything was so damn hazy that it was impossible. 

We walked out in to the living room and I noticed that it was essentially a complete disaster.  The couch was pushed to side at an awkward angle, like there was a fight or something.  The area rug was all scrunched up.  Then I saw blood.  I proceeded to check over my body for any wounds.  When I saw none I started check Edward again I found nothing. 

"Edward!  What's all this blood from?" 

He didn't hear me though, with the sink filling and the clanging of pans I was surprised I could hear myself.  So I walked in to kitchen and stopped dead. 

Edward had made us dinner last night.  Bits and pieces from last night came filtering through. 

...What do I smell?  I remembered as the familiar scent hit my nose.  I looked down at the pan and frowned.  He had tried for me.  He had tried for... us.  And I was drunk off my ass and went so far as to bring a guy home.  Good lord, I'm such an asshat.

His back was to me and he didn't notice that I was in the kitchen.  I was still inspecting all that he had done.  Shaking my head all the while.  He turned around and I jumped.  How do I fix this?

"Edward..."  I started softly.

"It's fine Bella."  He cut me off.  His voice was cold and harsh.   

"No it's not." I argued. 

He continued to wash some plates.

"Edward... I was horrible last night wasn't I?"

He shook his head not looking at me.  

"So what's the blood from?"

He stopped and shook his hands dry.  "Its from Jake's nose."

"What?" I asked 

"I said the blood on the floor is from Jake's nose." He explained, turning towards me.  

"How...?"

"He grabbed you and wouldn't let go when you asked him to so I stepped in... I hope you’re not too upset with me." He murmured the last part.

"I'm not upset." I assured him.  "I just can't believe I was stupid enough to bring a guy home." I uttered more to myself than anyone else. 

"It happens Bella, it's a very normal college thing to do.  That's why I called off our arrangement." He explained.

Then it came flashing back to me.  Our arrangement is obviously off.  Damn... "Is that why you let me sleep in your bed last night?" I asked.

"No." He muttered quietly.

"Then why?" I pressed.

"Because I didn't want to let go of you."

"Why?" I asked quietly, as I took a step towards him.              

"Because I-I... Because Bella I love you."  The words made my heart flutter but surely he could have never meant them the way that I had hoped.  

"I love you too, Edward."  I replied, simply.  We had said it for ages and it just meant that we were best friends.  He closed the gap standing so close that I was breathing him in.  His scent, his air, all of him.    

"No Bella I don't think you understand...  I said I love you."  He repeated.  I'm pretty sure my heart stopped dead in its tracks because I got all-lightheaded.  

"Wa-what?"  I stuttered, I couldn't have possibly heard him right.  He took my face in his hands and looked deeply in to my eyes.  

"I said, I love you."  He said, again. And then he kissed me.  Pressing his warm pillowy lips into mine, making my heart sing all the while.  

He pulled back and stared at me, observing my reaction.  I wasn't sure when the tears began trailing down my cheeks.  My breath was shaky and my voice was even worse.  "I love you too."  I finally managed.

He kissed me again, hard.  

This was everything that I had been dreaming about for the last three years nearly and now it was here and I had no idea how to proceed.  

"Bella I can't... I can't screw this up."  He whispered, searching my eyes.

"You won't."  I reassured. 

He took me in his arms and wrapped me tight.  All the love I had ever held for him was seeping out of my pores in to that embrace and what was worse was that he was giving it right back.  Was this love?  Did he really feel the same way?

"I don't know what to say..."  I muttered.

"Me either."  He said laughing lightly. 

"Where do we go from here?"  I asked. 

"Dinner, I have something wonderful planned for us tonight."  He answered.

"Like dinner, dinner?"  I asked, dumbly.

"Yes Bella.  Like a real date.  Not the shit with our arrangement either, because that Love, is over."  He explained.  

"Edward?"  I questioned.  

"Yes Bella?"

"Wa-what does this make us?"  I asked, frightened of his answer.

He was silent and thoughtful for a moment.  Then he smiled from ear to ear.  "Two fools in love?"  He asked, with a questionable shrug.  

I grinned right back at him.  "Sounds about right."  I answered with a kiss.  

Alright… So there it is.  It only took ten chapters for them to figure it out.  But they love each other.  The night Edward has planned though is so far off from anything that anyone is thinking!  I promise! 

Tune in soon for another update!

By the way sorry to everyone, I couldn’t update this weekend because I was out of the state.  The hubby and I took an impromptu trip.  :/